I don't like to get up early. That's just my thing. Waking up to an alarm clock is one of my least favorite things in life. Believe me, I would love to be a morning person—my life would be a lot easier. However, staying up late is a guilty pleasure of mine, which means the mornings don't come easy. After four decades of not being a morning person, I’m pretty sure that’s just who I am.

Last week, I asked some people in my running group if they were up for meeting at 8:00am instead of 7:30am on a Saturday for a run. I love to stay up late on weekend nights, so when I know I have to run early in the morning, the evening prior just isn’t as fun. One of the women in the group replied on email and said that I should just "suck it up" and meet at 7:30am. She said that is what she says to her children all the time. This rubbed me the wrong way. Why should I suck it up? Why should any of us suck it up, if we don't have to? Life is just too short to be sucking it up. Running at 7:30am instead of 8:00am is a minor example, but I think the idea of sucking it up is one that exists on a wider scale in our culture. Do you have an area of your life where you feel like you have to suck it up? Is it your job? Is it a sense of obligation to a certain work, friend, or family function? Is it pressure from your extroverted spouse or friends to go out when all you really want to do is stay in?

I have a friend who I spoke to recently and she said that her husband just went on antidepressants because he's been very unhappy and stressed with his job for months. She said that her husband is much better now that he is on antidepressants. I asked her if they could afford it financially if he did not work and she said yes, that was not a problem. She has told as much to her husband, yet he won’t quit. He even has some wonderful, feasible ideas of what he could do for work instead that would make him happier, yet he is choosing to stay in his current job. The drugs may be making him numb to his pain, but the source of the stress is still there. In this case, sucking it up is seriously impacting his health. This is a great example of when you should not be sucking it up! Whether you are numbing your pain with drugs or with your mind (telling yourself this just is the way your life is), you are not living an integral life of health and wellness. It is time to take back control and actively manage your life. (See the Mind page for more information on the effects of stress as well as some stress management techniques.)

Next time someone tells you to suck it up or you are telling yourself to suck it up, stop and ask yourself if you really have to. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I'm not saying that you can always not suck it up, but I bet there are a lot of times that you don't have to. In fact, I think there are a lot of times where we’ve made the situation way more complicated in our head than it really is or needs to be.

If you don't love your job, start brainstorming other ideas. You do have a choice. You are in full control of your life. Maybe you can't quit right now, but at least take steps to make a change happen in the future. If there is a certain function that you don't want to go to, ask yourself if you really need to be there. If your spouse or friends want to go out and you don’t, be okay with saying no every now and then and letting them go out without you. There are times when we do things we don’t necessarily want to because we know it will make a loved one happy. In this case, the benefit (a happy loved one) outweighs the cost (doing something that wouldn’t be our first choice). It is when the cost outweighs the benefit that we should realize we do have a choice to say no and not suck it up.

We have such a limited time on this earth. Let's make the most of it. Let's live it to the fullest. Let's choose happiness. Let’s be mindful of our choices. Let's not ever suck it up when we don't have to. Who's with me and not going to suck it up anymore? (And who’s in for an 8:00am run?)