Bittersweet Holiday Time
"Have a holly jolly Christmas." "Deck the halls with boughs of holly." "Have yourself a merry little Christmas."
The holidays are a happy time of year, right? They can be, but for many of us, they can also be bittersweet. A missed loved one can bring sadness to an otherwise joyous season.
Christmas was a big deal in the household of Dan and Carol Luczynski, my father-in-law and mother-in-law. My husband and I always had to split Christmas week between LA (my family) and Phoenix (his family), but we always made sure that our time in Phoenix included Christmas eve and Christmas day. I love the traditions we had of lighting the luminarias, sharing a meal together, piling into the van to see the neighborhood lights, opening the big pile of gifts under the tree on Christmas eve, and scratching our lottery tickets on Christmas day that were always in our stockings.
These traditions stopped over a decade ago when my mother-in-law and father-in-law died. Now we no longer make our way to Phoenix for the holidays. This past weekend I traveled to Phoenix with my husband to visit my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. These days I only get out every few years to visit. Perhaps it was the proximity to the holidays, but this visit made me nostalgic for the past.
My husband and I decided to go for a run while we were there and ran from his sister's house to his parents' old house. Just seeing that house where all of our family gatherings took place hit me at my core. I felt myself tearing up with the overwhelming feeling of loss—loss for the traditions and loss not to have Dan and Carol in our lives anymore. It's been over a decade, but in that moment, the sadness came on suddenly and caught me off-guard.
On our run, we decided to visit some old friends of my in-laws. We haven't seen them in years and keep in touch only through annual holiday cards, but I feel like they are one of the few remaining ties to Dan and Carol. They happened to be home and were (understandably) surprised by our visit. As I explained our impulse for the visit, I felt myself getting choked up and was hardly able to get the words out. It's amazing how the loss can feel so present and strong, even after so many years.
The holidays can be a difficult time for many people, whether the loss is recent or years prior. If you feel this way, be kind to yourself and acknowledge these feelings. Share your thoughts with others. Does it help to talk about your loved one and your fun holiday memories? Does it help to honor them by continuing some of the traditions? If you know someone who has recently lost a loved one, check in with them this holiday season and see how they are doing.
We often feel like we should be jolly and merry during this time of year, but it's okay if, mixed in with the merriment, there is some sadness. Just recognize it and honor it. And then try to be present (and feel the happiness) with the loved ones in your life who you are spending the holidays with.
I'd love to hear from you in the comments section below. Who are you missing this holiday time? What are your favorite holiday memories of or traditions with them?
I'm sending hugs to everyone who is feeling bittersweet this holiday season.
(above) 1999 Last Luczynski holiday together
(above right) 1991 Dan and Carol
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Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at
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Food Swapping for Health
My favorite new food discovery is nutritional yeast. If you don't know about it yet, let me introduce you. I use it as a Parmesan cheese substitute. I put it on salads and soups, but you can also top your casseroles, pasta, and popcorn with it.
It is inactive so it does not have leavening ability. I buy it from the bulk bin at Whole Foods. Nutritional yeast is a good source of B vitamins, folic acid, selenium, zinc, and protein. Some describe it as having a cheesy, nutty flavor. I have been eliminating dairy from my diet, so I like having nutritional yeast as my "cheese."
When I posted this on the FQL Facebook page, one follower said, "After watching my daughter, who is allergic to dairy, look longingly at plates of mac and cheese, I found that I could use nutritional yeast to make the sauce. It looks the same as the stuff her friends have and she loves the taste! I felt like a star!"
I also recently posted about healthy alternatives for soda. I have given up Diet Coke for health reasons, but I miss the taste of it. I received some great ideas from everyone and decided to share them in an Examiner article I wrote today, "4 healthy alternatives to help kick the soda habit."
Another favorite healthy food swap of mine is cauliflower "mashed potatoes." Steam cauliflower and put it in a food processor. You can add a little butter (and nutritional yeast!). Blend and serve. It tastes just like mashed potatoes. Potatoes are fine nutritionally but cauliflower is even better.
What are your favorite healthy food swaps? Comment below and share your ideas! They could make for another great Examiner article.
5 Ways to a Healthier, Happier Marriage
I've seen quite a few clients lately who are unhappy in their marriages. Based on these sessions, I've noticed recurring themes and patterns in relationships. It made me think about what it takes to have a healthy, happy marriage. Here are five ideas.
1. Recognize that relationships take work. If you start with this premise, you are less likely to be disappointed in your marriage. We have an ideal that relationships should be pure bliss at all times. If you are with someone for the long haul, it is important to understand that there will be ups and downs based on a variety of factors that can be going on for either person in the relationship. Things like job stress, parenting issues, or loss of a loved one can change the dynamics of the relationship. Don't throw in the towel just because you are going through a rough patch. This is perfectly normal. Realize the influence that an event is having on your relationship and try to work with it, rather than against it.
2. Know your triggers. This one is so important that there is an entire chapter, "Trigger Happy", devoted to it in my book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life. What baggage are you bringing into your current relationship that comes from your past? Yesterday, I was working with a client who got so upset any time her husband talked about wanting her to work on the family budget. It has been a point of contention in their relationship for years. As we talked more about it, she realized that she was being triggered when he brought it up because of how she was raised by her father. Growing up, she had to log every amount of money she got from her dad, even money to take the bus when she was 10. Once we identified that she was being triggered, we brainstormed ways for her to change her mindset around working on the family budget.
Triggers don't just happen in our marriages, they happen with our friends, too. Just the other day, I was triggered and almost ended a special relationship. As soon as I understood what was happening and discussed it with my friend, it cleared the way to a stronger friendship.
3. Seek out others. Understand that your spouse is not likely to meet all of your needs. We are all unique and we have our own interests and desires. I see many clients who are disappointed because their spouse doesn't _______ (fill in the blank). One client was frustrated because he loves to travel but his wife doesn't. Another client was upset because her husband couldn't provide the emotional support she needed. It is important to accept this and find other ways to have your needs met so that you don't bring resentment into the relationship.
I don't love to ski. My husband does. I encourage him every ski season to get some friends together and go on a ski weekend (or two or three) without me. It makes him happy and it makes me happy (because I don't have to be in the cold and because I see how happy it makes him). If your spouse isn't as emotionally supportive as you would like, rely on your close friends to give you the support you need. If your spouse doesn't like to travel, go on a trip without them. Your relationship will be stronger if you let go of the expectation that your spouse needs to be everything for you. Do what you need to do to get your needs met in other ways with (or without) other people. If you continue to hold out hope and wait for your spouse to change, you'll likely be waiting a very long time—with mounting frustration.
4. Be equals and have a voice. I see this one a lot in my client practice. Many stay-at-home moms feel that because they are not earning money, they are not an equal contributor to the household. They feel that their husbands have more power with how the money is spent. One client recently said that she feels like she has lost her voice in the relationship. I explained to her that it takes two people to lose your voice in a relationship. I asked her to think about the role that she played in allowing this to happen. Work out an agreement about the household tasks and budget so that both parties feel like equals. Both people need to have a voice for the relationship to thrive.
5. Focus on the good, not the bad. If you find yourself being frustrated by every little thing your spouse does, remember what drew you to that person in the beginning. What was it about him or her that created the spark between you? Sometimes we get in the downward spiral of noticing every thing our spouse isn't doing to meet our needs, but instead we can try to focus on what they are doing to meet our needs. For example, a client explained how he was hurt because his wife didn't ask about a recent doctor's appointment that she knew he had. I asked him to list the ways that his wife does show that she cares. He said that she makes him his favorite meals, encourages him to have his buddy poker nights, and so on. Changing our mindset by focusing on the good instead of the bad can go a long way for a healthier, happier marriage.
As a child of a divorced family (my parents divorced when I was 3), I never understood while I was growing up why people would get divorced. As an adult, I get it. Not all relationships can and should last. We grow and change with time. My husband and I met when I was 18. We have been together for 27 years. We have been able to grow together, but I can see how sometimes people grow in separate ways that is no longer fulfilling for either party. With more life experience, I now realize that my parents lived much happier and healthier lives because they got divorced.
There has to be a fundamental connection between two people for a relationship to work—and a healthy dose of communication. There has to be respect and love; a true desire for wanting that person to be happy. My relationship has worked all of these years because my husband lets me be me. He gives me the independence I need. He has always made me feel like a partner and an equal. I fully trust that he has my best interest at heart and loves me unconditionally.
I'd love to hear from you. What are your secrets to a successful relationship? Which of the above ideas resonates most with you? Share in the comments section below.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at
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Are You Having Enough of the "F" Word?
Paying bills, shuttling kids, working, cleaning, cooking, organizing... the list of "to-dos" goes on. Too often, it gets in the way of the "F" word. FUN!
I remember a chapter in Richard Carlson's Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and It's All Small Stuff" that said, “Remind yourself that when you die, your ‘in-basket’ won’t be empty.” I think of this often when I'm saying too much "no" to the fun in my life because of the full in-basket.
Last month, we did the 4QL July Plank Party (Body quadrant) and had great success with it! We had dozens of people chiming in on our facebook page about their strengthening core. It was fun to see the photos people posted of themselves planking at work and at home.
This month we are nourishing the Mind quadrant with the 4QL August One-Fun-Thing-A-Day Party. Do one fun thing for yourself every day. Some days you might indulge in a few hours of fun and other days it may just be a few minutes. Sometimes it might be by yourself and other times with your family and friends. Try to make it happen. It's good for your health.
When my mom got the email with the subject line about the Plank Party, she told me she was excited because she thought the email was going to be filled with cedar plank bbq recipes. I can only imagine what she thought when she saw the subject line of this email!
For me, I know this month will be filled with bike rides on my cruiser, playing with my dog and snuggling with my cat, trail running with friends, "free" reading, going on vacation with my husband... What fun will your month be filled with?
Does this sound like a challenge for you or do you already make enough time for fun? Comment below!
Be sure to forward this on to your friends and family who you think need more fun in their lives!
Be sure to get your free eBook to find out how you are doing in each of the four quadrants, plus get practical tips including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home. Sign up in the box at the upper right of this page.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Both Sad and Happy?
Have you ever been both sad and happy at the same time? Today, I am.
After two-and-a-half years of being on this journey of writing my book, today I am sad and happy at the same time. Today is the day that I say goodbye (in some sense) to my constant companion. I just sent an email to the publisher to say, "It's done."
Technically it's been "done" for months—except that every time I reread it, I find more edits. Move this sentence here, change this verb tense, delete this sentence. As a Type A and perfectionist, when is "done" really done? I've had the excuse of time since we were waiting to get endorsements in for the back cover. The endorsements are in and if we are to stay on track for our October 1 publish date, I have to let go at some point. And that point is today.
I thought today would be a day I would feel elated. "Whew! I'm done with writing the book!" Instead, I feel a mix of emotions. I'm sad, happy, scared, excited, nervous, exhausted, relieved, and more. I no longer need to say "no" to plans because I have to go work on my book. The words on the page are set.
It's one thing to share my book with a few friends, but it's another to be putting it out there for public consumption for praise, critique, or indifference. Yes, I did send the book to some key people for endorsements, but I didn't actually expect to hear back from them. I mean, I was hoping... I've been overjoyed with getting some amazing endorsements from Ken Wilber, John Robbins, Danny Dreyer, and more, plus a Foreword by Dick Bolles.
Of course, I know I will be spending as much time with my book over the next few years in trying to let others know about it, but it will be a different kind of time together. The intimacy of just me and my book is gone. I'm definitely excited to share it with all of you (and will let you know when it's officially available!). I'm just allowing today to be a day of letting go, of saying goodbye to one stage of the process and hello to the next.
Has there been a time in your life when you felt both sad (for what you were leaving behind) and happy (for what was to come) at the same time? I'd love to hear about it.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at
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Have You Done Your Zero?
As you may remember, back in January, I wrote about the 2-0-1-3 Plan to help set goals for the year. The "0" was as follows:
0 Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list for years to do that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.
Here are a few ideas:
- Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
- Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day.
- Go on the trip you've been talking about taking for years.
- Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore.
- Write your memoir.
- Volunteer.
- Take classes.
My Zero that I posted on the first of January was: "Join toastmasters. I've been thinking about doing it for over 20 years. It's time."
Well, today was the day I took my first step to doing my "Zero". I went to my first Toastmasters meeting! I remember thinking about doing this as far back as 1993 but I was shy and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Signing on to talk in front of people every week just didn't sound like my idea of fun. Twenty years later, and it's finally time. And dare I say, it was kind of fun!
I searched the internet to find a Toastmasters near me. I didn't know anyone there and had no idea what to expect. As soon as I entered the room, everyone was very welcoming. I loved the format of the meeting in that there are various roles so everyone can be involved. Each of the roles helps you practice different skills. For example, there is one person who evaluates the speeches, one person who manages the flow of the meeting, one person who gives a speech, and so on.
At the beginning of the meeting, I was asked to stand up and introduce myself. Later in the meeting, there was a part called Table Topics where one person decides on the theme and calls on people in the room to come up to answer a question spontaneously for one to two minutes. This is difficult because you have to think on the fly. I had no intention of participating (as a newcomer guest, you can say "no"), but Andy called on me and the group encouraged me, and so I did. I think I did fine for my first time and I didn't feel nervous, but thinking on my feet is not my strength, so Table Topics will definitely be a good exercise for me.
The one role which will be the biggest challenge for me is that they have a joke teller each meeting. I don't think I've ever actually told a joke in my life! The thought of me telling a joke makes me laugh.
Throughout the meeting, the members kept passing notes back and forth to each other and I had no idea why...until I got a note passed that had my name on it. It was from Andy and said, "Dina, Great job! Thank you for taking a chance, overcome any fear to step out of your comfort zone. No longer does the 'Zero' exist in 2013." The notes passed were words of encouragement to each other. Love it!
I wanted to check back in with all of you and I want to hear if you have done your "Zero" yet? If not, what's holding you back? How can we help you take that first step so that your Zero no longer exists in 2013?
Some of the "Zeros" from 4QL readers that were shared in January were:
- Run an Ultra Marathon.
- Get organized one room at a time.
- Live the Dream...my "bucket list"
- One of two home improvement projects (deck or gutters)
- Pick up as I go rather than plopping stuff down and then having a mess to pick up!
- Swim. (No really - I mean it this time!)
- Will
Taking the first step to do it is the hardest part. It took me 20 years to get to a meeting, but I plan to join and make it a regular Tuesday morning activity.
Please chime in below and let us know about your Zero. If the Zero you set in January is no longer relevant, what's your new Zero? If you didn't set a 2-0-1-3 Plan in January, it's not to late to do it now.
Be sure to get your free eBook to find out how you are doing in each of the four quadrants, plus get practical tips including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home. Sign up in the box at the upper right of this page.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at
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4QL July Plank Party
I'm excited so many of you are up for joining the 4QL July Plank Party!
Here's what we are doing. For the month of July, we are doing a plank a day. What's a plank? It's a great way to tone your abdominals, back, glutes, and shoulders.
Set the goal to do planks at least 5 days a week. If you want to be an overachiever, you can do it everyday, but for those just starting out, I would recommend taking a day or two off—at least in the first few weeks. I'm committing to planking Monday through Friday.
You will have greatest success if you join the party with a friend. I have a group text message set up with my friends, Julie and Christy. We text every day and say "done" just to hold ourselves accountable. If you can't find a planking buddy, you have the 4QL community to cheer you along. Just post your successes on this page below in the comments section or on our Facebook page.
We will be doing 5 minutes of planking.
1. Elbow plank
2. Side plank
3. Elbow plank
4. (Other) Side plank
5. Straight arm plank
In the beginning, you will likely not actually be in plank position for the full 5 minutes, unless you have been doing planks for a while. Just try to hold the plank for as long as you can during the minute. If you can only hold it for 10 seconds to start with, that's perfectly okay. Rest for a few seconds and then try again until the minute is up. You can also do a modified plank by putting your knees on the floor. You will still feel your abdominals working.
In between minutes, take about 20-30 seconds to regroup (or more if you need) and then start your next minute. If you prefer to break up your 5 one-minute sets of planks throughout the day, that's okay too. Perhaps you do a one-minute plank in the morning, another at lunch, and so on. The idea is to just do it. However works best for you is the right way to do it.
Planking with the correct form is essential. We don't want you to get injured doing this. Be very careful about not sagging when you do it because that puts strain on your lower back. Concentrate on tilting your pelvis and contracting your abs and glutes.
Elbow Plank
- Lie face down on the floor (mat, carpet, or grass) resting on the forearms, palms flat on the floor.
- Push off the floor, raising up onto toes and resting on the elbows. Your elbows should be in line with your shoulders.
- Keep your back flat, in a straight line from head to heels.
- Tilt your pelvis and contract your abdominals to prevent your rear end from sticking up in the air or sagging in the middle. Contract your abs by imagining someone is about to punch you in the gut. Hold for 60 seconds. If you can't make it to 60 seconds, hold for 5 to 10 seconds and rest for 5; continue for 1 minute. Modify by placing your knees on the floor.
Side Plank
- Lie on your right side with your legs straight.
- Prop yourself up with your right forearm so your body forms a diagonal line.
- Rest your left hand on your hip.
- Brace your abs and hold for 60 seconds. If you can't make it to 60 seconds, hold for 5 to 10 seconds and rest for 5; continue for 1 minute. Be sure your hips and knees stay off the floor.
Straight Arm Plank
Same as elbow plank in form, but your hands, rather than forearms are on the mat. Arms are straight.
Don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions. Just post your questions below.
Okay, who's in? Chime in below and sign on for the 4QL July Plank Party! Tell a friend to join the fun!
Be sure to get your free eBook to find out how you are doing in each of the four quadrants, plus get practical tips including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home. Sign up in the box at the upper right of this page.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Are You Reunion Ready?
Last weekend, I met up with my business school friend, Kate, who I haven't seen in years. When I asked her if she would be going to our next reunion, she said only if she was in a good place in her life inside and out. When I asked her to elaborate, she said that she would go only if she was feeling good about how she looked and what she was doing with her life.
I asked her if the reunion were next month, would she go—meaning is she happy with where she is RIGHT NOW? She said she wasn't sure. She felt that everyone who would be there would have these impressive careers and she wasn't sure that she measured up. Was the measurement for success simply a prestigious sounding job? Her implied answer was "yes."
I get it. I used to feel this way. I remember "preparing" for a high school reunion I went to a few years back. Did I have cool looking business cards with a story behind all of the great things I was doing? I remember that feeling and it's not a good place to be.
Now I have my own measurement of a successful life. Success is balance, health, happiness. It is spending time with friends and family—and spending the time means having the time. It is running the trails near my house. It is playing in the yard with my husband and dog. It is having time for myself. It is exploring new places in this world. It is appreciating my life. It is helping others and having a purpose. I could go on.
When I met up with Kate, she was in town for a girls weekend with a few other friends from school. I went out with them Saturday night and then spent time with Kate the next day. When I saw her that next day, she said, "All of the girls said you were glowing. Why do you think you glow?" I thought for a moment and then replied, "Because I am living authentically!"
I feel at peace with where I am in life. I don't worry anymore what others think. When I go to my next business school reunion, I'm pretty confident I'll be the only one that is now a Healthy Living Coach. I'm okay with that. In fact, I own that. It's who I am. It's what I'm passionate about. It's how I help people. It's how I make a difference in this world. It's how I have actively chosen to create my life. In my opinion, anyone that is actively choosing their life is a success!
If your reunion was next month, would you go? If not, is it because you aren't happy with your life or because you believe others would think you had not amounted to much? If it's the former, make changes today. Live as if your reunion is next month. If it's the latter, how can you change your mindset to be proud of the life that you have chosen for yourself? How can you redefine your measurement for success to coincide with the life you are happily living?
Do you want to glow at your next reunion? If so, live authentically!
Be sure to get your free 47 page Getting Started Guide: Taking Your First Step on the 4QL Journey by signing up for our newsletter at the top right of this page. It is filled with a 4 quadrant health assessment as well as health tips for each quadrant including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Achoo! 7 Natural Ways to Relieve Seasonal Allergies
Spring is in the air. Literally. Flowers are popping up, but so is the pollen count. Millions of Americans are experiencing the symptoms of seasonal allergies right now. These symptoms include runny nose, congestion, sneezing, itchy eyes and ears, sinus pressure, sleeplessness, and fatigue.
If you are among the allergy sufferers, try a natural solution before reaching for the over-the-counter medications, which can have negative side effects. Here are a seven ideas that can help:
1. Eat clean: Eating whole foods that are rich in essential vitamins and minerals, and staying away from processed foods, will not only help reduce allergy symptoms but also will keep your immune system strong. A diet rich in vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and lean, organic proteins will keep you body functioning properly during allergy season. Green tea can also help to reduce inflammation and support immune function.
2. Take a spoonful of local honey every day. It is believed that eating honey gradually vaccinates the body against allergens. Honey contains a variety of the same pollen spores that give allergy sufferers so much trouble when flowers and grasses are in bloom. Introducing these spores into the body in small amounts by eating local honey makes the body accustomed to their presence and decreases the chance of an immune system response. It is important for the honey to be local, the closer it is made to your home, the better. The best place to find honey is from a local farm stand or farmer's market.
3. Keep the outdoors out. Let your home be your sanctuary from the outside pollens by keeping your windows and doors shut during this season. Take a shower at night to wash away the pollens on your body and in your hair. Take shoes off before you enter the house so that you aren't tracking pollens into the house. Buy a HEPA (High Efficiency Particulate Air) cleaner. It captures 99.97% of airborne particles as small as 0.3 microns from air passing through the filter.
4. Use a neti pot. Rinse your nostrils with a saline solution in a neti pot. (You can buy this at any local drug store). It is a little strange to do the first time, but it does help.
5. Try natural supplements, Stinging Nettle and Quercetin. Quercetin is a plant-based phytochemical that is found in apples, onions, tea, and red wine. Stinging Nettle is a medicinal herb. Both are known to help with seasonal allergies. Fish oil supplements can also be beneficial because of their anti-inflammatory properties.
6. Wear a mask. If your allergies are really bad, this could be an option when you need to be outside, especially while gardening or hiking.
7. Avoid morning hours outside. Pollen count is highest in the morning from 5am to 10am. It is lowest after rainfall.
Try these natural remedies to combat spring allergies so you can fully enjoy the outdoors without any sniffling, sneezing, coughing or wheezing!
Be sure to get your free 47 page Getting Started Guide: Taking Your First Step on the 4QL Journey by signing up for our newsletter at the top right of this page. It is filled with a 4 quadrant health assessment as well as health tips for each quadrant including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home.
________
Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
The *Real* Secret to Weight Loss!
I was hoping the title would get your attention. Every one is looking for the secret to weight loss. I have seen many clients who say they have tried every weight loss plan out there, but the weight just keeps coming back. This blog is about the secret to long-term weight loss. It is about creating a new way of living—for life. It's about resisting the temptation of the grand promises of the latest shake, supplement, pill, plan, or product to lose weight. Those may work in the short-term, but invariably the pounds find their way back. And, they aren't healthy!
Just a few weeks ago, I had a client ask me what I thought about Sensa. She said she had heard about it on TV. I didn't know of it, but when I looked it up, I found out that it is a substance that you sprinkle on your food. It supposedly works based on the process and trigger of eating and feeling full. When we eat, smell and taste receptors send messages that tell our body it's time to stop eating. Sensa claims to enhance smell, thus speeding up the process which triggers the "I feel full" signal so that you "eat less and feel more satisfied."
Recently, I have heard about Body by Vi as one of the latest ways to lose weight. They want you to replace two meals with their shakes. Check out the list of ingredients in the Body by Vi shakes. Do you recognize any of the ingredients as real food? This may help you take the weight off, but it certainly isn't giving you the tools to keep it off which brings you back to the yo-yo dieting. And, if you really want to be healthy, don't you want to be filling your body with real food!?
My favorite quote from a client this week was when she said, "I'm not a fake human, so why am I feeding myself fake food?" This was after I had showed her the list of ingredients in the Medifast bar she was eating. Now she eats a bar whose ingredients consist only of nuts and fruits.
So, now the moment you have been waiting for... What is the secret to weight loss?
The secret to weight loss is simple. Eat real food. Exercise more. Reduce stress.
I know, you've heard it before, right? But, given all of the posts I have seen recently on Facebook and clients I have been working with, somehow Sensa, Body by Vi, and Medifast are winning. Our bodies are losing with these methods, but it's not weight that we are losing, it's health.
The key to success is to commit to it. Take the guesswork out of it by just committing to this new way of life. Deciding whether or not to eat that cupcake is no longer a difficult decision because you have already made that choice in your head not to. Now you are just playing it out throughout the day. Another key to success is to engage others—whether that be a health coach, family member, or friend. Tell others what you are doing and let them keep you accountable. Sign up with My Fitness Pal and track your food for a week or two to see exactly what you are eating and how it measures up. It's not about counting calories, it's about tracking your food to help you stay accountable and see the choices you are making in a day.
It does work! I've seen it over time with my clients. Not only do they lose weight with this plan, but they are also happier and more energetic than they were before. They start to feel so good about themselves, that the temptations no longer have power because this new feeling of health now wins out.
Eat real food
For those with only a few pounds to lose:
If you are currently eating packaged, processed, and fast foods, making the switch to real food will lead to weight loss. Eat lean meats and eggs, load up on the veggies (for weight loss and health, you just can't get enough of this food group!), snack on a few nuts, enjoy fruit to satisfy your sweet tooth, and eat healthy fats (like avocados, coconut). Avoid sugar, alcohol, soy, caffeine, and dairy. Eat limited healthy grains like brown rice and quinoa.
For those who have more than a few pounds to lose:
You will benefit from removing all grains and legumes from your diet (commit to 30 days and go from there). Grains include wheat (breads, pasta), rye, oats, corn, rice, sprouted grains, and quinoa. Legumes include beans, lentils, and peanuts. Sweet potatoes and spaghetti squash are good substitutes for your typical "starch" in the meal because of their texture and substance. It's about eliminating the inflammatory, allergenic, unhealthy foods from your diet.
I do recommend shakes—shakes that have real food, not that just consist of a packaged powder and water.
Here is my daily shake:
2/3 coconut water
1/3 coconut milk
1/2 cup blueberries
generous handful of spinach or kale
healthy shake powder with vitamins, probiotics, and detoxifying nutrients
other additions: fish oil, chia seeds, flax seeds
Of course there are many variations on healthy shakes with numerous recipes available on the internet. Be creative with the fruits and vegetables you add to your shake, like celery or avocado.
For a good summary on eating well, check out Eat This Way.
Exercise
The more calories you burn (while eating well), the more weight you lose. Here are a few ideas. For more detail, read my blog Movement by Gypsy
- Change your framework. A standard theme I have found with my clients is the guilt that comes with the “should” of exercising. Leave behind the “should” and find your “want.” Think of “exercise” as movement that brings you joy, not as an obligation that hangs over your head.
- Think outside the box. Jumping rope is good cardio and reminds us of our childhood days. How about a game of hopscotch, Frisbee, or basketball with the kids? Or turning on the stereo and dancing around to your favorite tunes? The point is, be creative. If it gets you moving, it counts as exercise.
- Think inside the box. Some people like the gym. If you are one of them, that’s great. You don’t need to be creative like the rest of us to get exercise into our lives. Keep it up! For those of us who need a little nudge to get to the gym, think about how to make it more enticing. Can you go at a certain time to watch a show you like? Download some new tunes that are reserved just for your gym workouts? Meet a friend? Try a new class?
- Talk and walk. Instead of meeting your friends for coffee or lunch, meet them for a walk. You save money and you get some exercise. You’ll spend so much time gabbing, you’ll forget your legs are doing a lot of walking.
- Do it with a group. It is easier to cancel out on yourself than someone else.
- Count your steps. Wearing a pedometer can make walking fun and motivating. Set a goal of at least 7,000 steps a day..
- Keep moving. Try to make movement part of your daily life rather than something you do at a certain time of day that counts as “exercise.” For example, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park in a far spot at the grocery store, or do your own gardening.
Reduce Stress
Many people may not realize this, but stress absolutely can play a role in weight gain for hormonal and psychological reasons. On the hormonal side, when we are stressed, we release hormones like cortisol which serve us well in periods of stress (it makes us alert and ready). Cortisol stimulates fat and carbohydrate metabolism for fast energy. This leads to an increase in appetite. An increase in appetite means we eat more and we weight more.
On the psychological side, eating is often tied to our emotions. When we feel stressed (or tired, angry, etc), we often turn to food for comfort. The more mindful we become about our eating (and the reasons we are reaching for the unhealthy food), the better chance for success we have in the long term.
You can do it!
If you want to really lose weight for good, don't buy into these expensive, do-it-quick schemes. Yes, it may take a little more work than adding water to a faux-food shake mix, but have fun with it. Get the family involved in meal planning. Ask friends to sign up for an upcoming 5K with you. Take a class on meditation.
There is a lot of content on the Four Quadrant Living website about living a healthy life, so take some time to explore it and vow to make a change today. It may take time to change your body, but it takes a split second to change your mind. If you have been wanting to eat healthier or exercise more, change your mind about it today. The results in your body will follow.
I'd love to hear from you, so chime in below. What is your favorite healthy shake or meal? What is the form of exercise that brings you joy? What are your best ways for reducing stress? How do you involve your friends and family in your healthy living?
Be sure to get your free 47 page Getting Started Guide: Taking Your First Step on the 4QL Journey by signing up for our newsletter at the top right of this page. It is filled with a 4 quadrant health assessment as well as health tips for each quadrant including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home.
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Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.