Displaying items by tag: new years resolutions

Thursday, 04 February 2021 13:53

Random Thoughts from a Cancer Survivor

Today is World Cancer Day, an international day marked on February 4 to raise awareness of cancer and to encourage its prevention, detection, and treatment. I didn't share many photos or thoughts during my cancer journey (Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer), so today is a rare day for me to share these photos from Nov 2019 when I had just completed all of my chemotherapy treatments. You can see my attempts to paint on my eyebrows, try out fake eyelashes (that lasted a day and then I gave up, but I did get a good laugh trying), or just go bare. By the miracle of cold capping, I was able to save my head hair, but lost all other body hair.

Today I was inspired to share some random thoughts of my cancer experience to hopefully help friends and family of cancer patients as well as to help cancer patients. Please feel free to reply to this post if you have any ideas to add or forward to a friend if you think it might help. The one thing I did learn in going through cancer diagnosis and treatment is that most of us have been impacted by this disease in one way or another. There are so many resources out there. Whether you are a caregiver or a patient, you are not alone.

For Friends & Family of Cancer Patients

1. It was always so helpful when friends and family would offer a specific thing they could do for me rather than ask for me to reach out with anything I needed. Most of us are not great about asking for help, but it's much easier if the person offers something specific. I had friends offer to organize a meal train (loved it!), contribute food to the meal train, walk my dog on days I couldn't, take me to my acupuncture appointments when my husband wasn't able to, etc. It was much easier to say yes when something specific was offered. I now try to do the same for others.

2. Ask what is the biggest concern that your friend is facing and try to help them with it. One of my concerns in the beginning was what would I do during my six week surgery recovery because I don't like to be inactive. A friend knew this and sent me a care package with coloring books, funny reading books, a list of shows to watch - things to help pass the time. Another one of my concerns was losing my eyebrows. A friend offered to go eyebrow pencil shopping with me, which on my own would have been very difficult given the circumstances. She helped to make it a fun activity.

3. Please consider not sharing all of your cancer stories with your friend or family member about so-and-so who had cancer and died. I felt like a cancer magnet as soon as I mentioned to anyone that I had cancer. Everyone seemed to want to share their stories about who they knew who had cancer (and most of the stories I heard did not have happy endings). If you want to share about a friend or family member and you think it will be helpful or hopeful, by all means, share. I was already concerned about my own mortality and recurrence and did not want to hear stories of people dying from cancer. I have one friend who told me a story about someone she knew who died from chemo (as I'm going through chemo). It served me no purpose to hear this story. Words have power. I definitely have compassion and want to hear about others who have cancer and be there for them and their loved ones, it's just that it felt a little too raw and happened much too often while I was in the throes of it all. While I was going through it, I just needed to be surrounded by positivity and hope.

4. Find out when certain important appointments are (chemo treatments, surgery dates) and reach out on those days. It was always so sweet when friends and family remembered my chemo days and wished me well.

For Cancer Patients

1. If you have to go through chemotherapy, and you want to save your head hair, cold capping does work! As you can see in the photos above, I lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. My head would have been bald. Those caps work. They are not pleasant to go through (I had 10 hour days with minus 32 degrees F on my head for each chemo day), but worth it for me without a doubt.

2. One of the possible negative side effects from my type of chemo is neuropathy. I'm not sure if this helped, but during chemo treatments, I had cold packs on my hands and feet. I also did acupuncture once a week (which is supposed to help with this) and I had zero neuropathy.

3. Accept help. Your friends and family want to help. Let them.

4. Reach out for support. There is so much support out there, many online groups (for these Covid times) and so many wonderful free services. I took advantage of the Clearity Foundation's offer for 10 free counseling sessions. I also enjoyed free massages through The Sandra Wing Foundation. These are just two of the MANY resources and offerings for cancer patients. Since going through treatment, I have learned of Imerman Angels and Breasties. If you search the internet for what you are looking for, many resources will pop up.

5. Realize that just because you have cancer, does not mean you have to see yourself as unhealthy. I loved it when my friend Janet said I was the healthiest cancer patient she had ever seen. As many of you know, prior to cancer I had written a book called Four Quadrant Living that talks about the four quadrants of health - Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment. Everything that I had written about was definitely put to the test during my cancer diagnosis and treatment. I can without a doubt say that living a Four Quadrant Life helped me get through treatment with relative "ease". I focused on how I was healthy, rather than focusing on the cancer. I managed my stress (Mind) by journaling, listening to guided meditations, talking to my husband. I was healthy in my Body by walking, eating well, getting a good night's sleep. I didn't let the cancer overtake my Relationships by letting it be all I talked about. Having cancer let me connect with my friends and family on a deeper level so it really strengthened my relationships. I spent a lot of time sitting and walking in nature (Environment) which definitely helped my recovery. There are always silver linings and things to be grateful for. By focusing on the positive, I was able to keep my spirits up. It doesn't mean it was always unicorns and rainbows, but I was able to stay positive most of the time. On the days you feel down, that's okay. You are entitled. Cancer sucks.

6. Be your own advocate with doctors. Doctors do not have a crystal ball. There are so many factors involved in getting cancer and being treated for it. I sought out doctors who were "my people", the ones that I felt understood me and who were hopeful and positive. Ask as many questions as you need to. Get second opinions. You are your own best advocate for your health. Trust your gut and do not settle for a doctor who is not giving you the time of day or who is doom and gloom (and believe me, I encountered a few of those and quickly changed to another doctor).

I'm sure there are many other thoughts I have about cancer, but I just thought I would jot down a few today in honor of World Cancer Day. Hope it's helpful.

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Dina Colman Mitchell, MBA, MA, NBC-HWC a widely published health coach, is the founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina credits four quadrant living for helping her go through her own cancer diagnosis and treatment last year with grace, strength, and health. Now cancer-free, Dina continues to devote her time to helping others around the world live healthier, happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: A Guide to Nourishing Your Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment, shows readers how to take responsibility for their health and make healthy living a way of life. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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The 2-0-2-1 Plan

The beginning of a new year is a great time to reflect on the year behind and look forward to the year ahead. A great way to do this is with The 2-0-2-1 Plan.

Eight years ago, I created The 2-0-1-3 Plan and it resonated with so many of you. I have people asking every year if I will be sending out the newest year’s plan. We’ve missed a few years, but it seems like the perfect time to be reflecting back and looking forward. Be sure to comment below with your plan.

The 2-0-2-1 Plan is about starting off the New Year with intention, motivation, and accountability for health and happiness. It's okay if some of your items from last year are still on the list this year.

Forward this on to your friends and family and let's see how many people we can get on board to join in. Here's how it works.

2 Come up with TWO actionable and doable healthy living ideas. Be specific. Make them very customized for you. Think about your weakness areas. How do you do in the areas of stress management, having fun, sleeping well, eating healthy, exercising, having nurturing relationships, and living in a nontoxic environment (this can be related to your emotional or physical environment)? Are you pretty good about working out, but don't take any time for stress management? If so, don't put exercise on your list, but rather, put something that will reduce your stress. Commit to work on the areas that receive less of your focus. You will see in the examples below that the ideas are both manageable and quantifiable. Try to be as specific as you can, and don't over-commit. You can always over-deliver.

Here are a few ideas:

Meditate for five minutes three days a week first thing in the morning to start the day grounded.
Spend less time with those people in your life who make you feel worse about yourself (you can be specific with names, if you want).
Do not drink alcohol during the week, only on Friday and Saturday nights.
Get 7,500 to 10,000 steps at least four days a week (wear a device to track it).
Go to bed by 11pm every night so that you get at least 7 hours of sleep.
Make one fun plan a week that makes you happy.

0 Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list to do for years that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.

This one is really important! So many of you reported in that you did your "0" from last year. Way to go! In 2013, my "0" was to join Toastmasters which I have wanted to do for TWENTY YEARS! I finally did it that year and it has been one of the best things I've done. Setting the intention of doing it at the beginning of the year and stating it publicly helped to finally make it happen! Trust yourself. You know your "0". Let's make it happen this year.

Here are a few ideas:

Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day. (Sometimes this may not be possible due to financial constraints, but oftentimes even if we believe this to be the case, we do have choices that we have not allowed ourselves to believe in. Now's the time to believe in them and explore them.)
Hire a health coach and lose the weight for good.
Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore. For some ideas, read Movement by Gypsy.
Join a support group (e.g. AA, Al-Anon, loss, cancer). If you need help, there are groups out there for you. Sharing your pain with others does help.
Write your memoir.
Volunteer.
Take classes.

2 Take at least TWO minutes every day to ground yourself in the day. Whether you want to take the time in the morning, afternoon, or evening, be sure to take them. Ground yourself in the day. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths allowing your mind to free itself from the mental chatter. Set an intention for the day (such as being mindful, grateful, open, strong, playful). Do a ritual if you choose (light a candle, share with your spouse one highlight from the day, write in your journal).

1 Choose ONE word for the year. Come up with one word that you want to represent you in 2021. Give it some thought because you want it to really encompass what you want for the year. When you have decided on your word, write it out in big letters and put it somewhere you will see it every day. Put it on your bathroom mirror, by your computer, on your vision board, at work, in your wallet. Some of my past year words include "confidence", "openness", and "surrender".

Here are a few ideas: faith, love, forgiveness, dream, health, peace, strength, hope, play, truth, trust, imagine, and share.

2-0-2-1 Take some time this week and think about your 2-0-2-1 plan. Be sure to comment below and let us know. It is helpful to share it with others to make it more real and to help hold you accountable. I will share my 2-0-2-1 plan in the comments below. If you want to share some of your plan, but not all of it, that's perfectly fine. Share what you feel comfortable with and keep private what you want.

I look forward to hearing from you. Let's make 2021 a year filled with health, happiness, and ... (insert your word here!).

And, of course, if you need help with making any part of your 2-0-2-1 plan happen, FQL can help you!

Be sure to share your 2-0-2-1 Plan in the comments section below!

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