“What a difference a day makes.” This was my sister’s mantra as she battled Stage 3 breast cancer for over a year. I think of this mantra often because it applies to all of us—no matter what challenge we are facing in our lives.

When my sister, Debbie, was going through her treatment, which included chemotherapy, stem cell transplant, surgery, and radiation, she had good days, and she had bad days. What got her through the bad days was knowing that there would be good days. She knew that even though she might feel really bad today, it didn’t mean that was how she would feel tomorrow or the next day. A jingle used commercially for C&R Clothiers kept playing in her head.

What a difference a day makes
Twenty-four little hours
What a difference a day makes
And the difference is you

I did some research and found out that the jingle came from a song, What a Difference a Day Makes, that was popular in the 1950s and sung by Dinah Washington. Knowing how much her mantra inspired her to get through the bad days, I bought her the CD. Debbie would listen to the song over and over again, as many times as she needed to get through the low days.

Are you going through a tough time right now? Do you have a health issue of your own or have you experienced a loss? Are you going through a life change or having trouble in a relationship? Are you a new mom exhausted from lack of sleep? It may not even be one large event that is bringing you down, but rather the accumulation of many little things.

When something bad happens to us, we get brought down and can feel overwhelmed by the news or experience. Here are eight tips for helping yourself feel better during the hard times.

1. Be a third person observer of your life. If you are feeling low because you are going through a divorce, try saying to yourself, “So this is what it feels like to be going through a divorce.” Identify how it is making you feel. “It is making me feel anxious and I feel my heart racing. I find myself snapping at everyone because I am feeling angry and hurt from the divorce.” By being able to identify and objectify your feelings, it helps to keep you detached and out of the whirlwind of despair.
   
   
2. Remember the difference is you. A key part of the jingle is, “the difference is you.” There may be a lot about your situation that is not in your control, but focusing on the things that are in your control helps to empower you. As discussed in You’re Laughing Now?,you can do so by finding humor in the situation, being grateful for what you do have, and reframing the situation. You can also try smiling, which sends a signal to your brain that everything is okay.
   
   
3. Don’t be defined by the situation. If you have been diagnosed with cancer, don’t see yourself only as a cancer patient. If your marriage recently ended or you were laid off, don’t merely think of yourself as a divorcee or as someone who is unemployed. Focus on the parts of your life that bring you joy. Remind yourself of who you are outside of the illness or situation.
   
   
4. Be kind and true to yourself. Take the time to nurture yourself during the hard times. Don’t feel like you have to be super-person and be strong for everyone else. Honor where you are at and be okay with it.
   
   
5. Ask for help. Many of my clients are afraid to ask for help. They say they don’t want to be seen as emotionally weak. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others is a great way to form intimate bonds. If you share your feelings with others when you are down, it helps them to feel comfortable to do so when they are down. Your friends and family want to help you. Let them.
   
   
6. Mourn the loss. When you first find out about an illness, lose a loved one, get laid off, or experience any other life-changing event, it is important to take the time to mourn the loss of your old life. This can also apply to happy events like having a baby, moving to a new house, or changing jobs. Recognizing that your life will not be the same and mourning the loss of what was allows you to let go and move forward. Without taking this step, you remain stuck, longing for the way things were. Be open to your new life. It will be different, but new sources of happiness and joy await you.
   
   
7. Discover the stars. There is a Persian proverb: “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” Sometimes in our darkest hour, we are enlightened by an idea or a new way of being. When we are stripped down to our most raw and vulnerable self, we often see what and who is truly important to us. This unexpected and unrequested gift from a difficult time may not come right away, but try to be open to and accepting of it when it arrives.
   
   
8. Take a four quadrant perspective. Focus on creating health in the areas where you can. If you have a physical illness, you have the choice of whether you let it affect you in the other three quadrants of your life. This point is illustrated further in the following chapter, The Mental in Illness. One of my clients let a hip injury negatively impact her mind, relationships, and environment. If she had chosen to nurture these areas instead, she would have been a lot healthier and happier—even with her physical injury.

On days when you are feeling overwhelmed, remember that not every day is going to be like this. In fact, the bad days will start to come farther apart. They did for my sister and they will for you too.

Are you having a bad day today? If so, remember what a difference a day makes.

__________________________

Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, health coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Aren’t you more likely to have success incorporating the second scenario into your life than the first? Here are a few ideas to get more movement in your day.

• Change your framework. A standard theme I have found with my clients is the guilt that comes with the “should” of exercising. Leave behind the “should” and find your “want.” Think of “exercise” as movement that brings you joy, not as an obligation that hangs over your head. Even traditional types of exercise like hiking, biking, running, swimming, kayaking, dancing, skiing, and tennis can be incorporated into your daily life if you focus more on the fun and less on the result. After training for marathons for a few years straight, running started to feel more like an obligation to me. I decided to leave the heart rate monitor, distance watch, and speed expectations at home. As a result, I found joy in my running again.

• Think outside the box. My dad is one of those people who won’t make his way to the gym, but he does like to walk his neighborhood. He lives in the desert, so in the summer it’s too hot to walk outside. He gets creative. He walks inside the air-conditioned mall. I had never heard of such a thing, but he says there are many other “mall walkers” (a term I see readily comes up on Google). Mall walking certainly has its benefits. You are in a climate-controlled environment with easy access to bathrooms. You can even get some errands done at the same time. If it’s not mall walking, maybe it’s hula hooping? It’s a great abdominal workout and it’s fun too. Jumping rope is good cardio and reminds us of our childhood days. How about a game of hopscotch, Frisbee, or basketball with the kids? Or turning on the stereo and dancing around to your favorite tunes? The point is, be creative. If it gets you moving, it counts as exercise.

• Think inside the box. Some people like the gym. If you are one of them, that’s great. You don’t need to be creative like the rest of us to get exercise into our lives. Keep it up! My stepmom loves watching TV while on the elliptical at the gym. She has been known to stay on the machine for two hours because she’s hooked on a show she’s watching. For those of us who need a little nudge to get to the gym, think about how to make it more enticing. Can you go at a certain time to watch a show you like? Download some new tunes that are reserved just for your gym workouts? Meet a friend? Try a new class?

• Talk and walk. Instead of meeting your friends for coffee or lunch, meet them for a walk. You save money and you get some exercise. You’ll spend so much time gabbing, you’ll forget your legs are doing a lot of walking.

• Do it with a group. It is easier to cancel out on yourself than someone else. Also, having support from others can get you through on the challenging days, and even make it fun. Sign up for a tennis class, join a hiking group, or participate in one of the many charity organizations that walk and run various distance races. Even gym classes these days are becoming more fun with offerings that range from belly dancing to boxing.

• Count your steps. Wearing a pedometer can make walking fun and motivating. Set a goal of at least 7,000 steps a day. Make it a family activity and see who can get the most steps in a week. Walking is a great way to stay healthy. Be prepared by keeping comfortable shoes in your car so that you can go for a walk any time you find yourself with a free moment.

• Keep moving. Try to make movement part of your daily life rather than something you do at a certain time of day that counts as “exercise.” For example, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park in a far spot at the grocery store, or do your own gardening. At work, deliver something in person rather than using interoffice mail or walk to a different floor to use the bathroom. In your house, try walking around when you are on the phone or stretching while watching television. Even cleaning your house counts as movement.

I love my time on Gypsy and look forward to getting out for a ride every chance I get. What's your Gypsy?

_________

Dina Colman Mitchell, MBA, MA, NBC-HWC a widely published health coach, is the founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina credits four quadrant living for helping her go through her own cancer diagnosis and treatment last year with grace, strength, and health. Now cancer-free, Dina continues to devote her time to helping others around the world live healthier, happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: A Guide to Nourishing Your Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment, shows readers how to take responsibility for their health and make healthy living a way of life. Contact Dina at  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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My bike, Gypsy

 

When you think of meditation, you probably think of sitting in a lotus position repeating the mantra, “ohm”. For years, meditation has been on my to-do list. I have tried to meditate at various points in my life, but my mind wanders and I’m uncomfortable in the recommended sitting position. When I focus on my breathing, I don't seem to be breathing comfortably. Feeling that I wasn't doing it “right” made me feel like a failure.

One morning as I was lying in bed with my cat, Hollywood, having our morning ritual of snuggle time, I realized that this is my meditation. While Hollywood is on me or next to me, my mind is quiet and I am focused only on him and the connection between us. I pay attention to the feel of his fur, the closing of his eyes, and the purr of his body. His purr is the vibration of his happiness and I let it permeate my being. During the meditation, I feel my mind clear and my body relax. My breath slows, my heart rate lowers, and I feel calm. This happens without me even thinking about it. Sometimes I lie there for five minutes and sometimes for twenty. My meditation is simple and I am good at it—just the way it should be.

Is meditation for you along the more traditional lines of sitting in the lotus position and focusing on your breath or repeating a mantra? Or is it something a little less traditional? My mom meditates by staring at the ocean. My dad meditates by sitting in his recliner chair and listening to music. My sister meditates by walking along a certain spot at the cliffs. For some, it may be working in the garden or walking along the beach. Whatever it is, try to clear your mind and focus on one thing—whether it be your breath, your cat's purr, the sound of the waves, or the feel of dirt in your fingers.

Meditation is about creating space in your mind, quieting the incessant mental chatter. If thoughts come up, it's okay. Just bring yourself back to your quiet mind without judgement or frustration. Try to be a third party observer of your thoughts, without taking a personal interest in them. Meditate in a place where the distractions are limited. You want to be grounded in the silence and stillness of present moment awareness.

Meditation has been shown to be helpful in prevention as well as treatment in our health. Studies show numerous physiological and psychological benefits of meditation. Some of the physiological benefits include lower blood pressure, strengthened immune system, relaxed muscles, and improved digestion. Psychological benefits include decreased anxiety and depression, increased productivity, and improved memory.

Although we live in a goal-oriented society, we must remember that there is no goal in meditation. The idea is simply to be. Identify the meditation that works for you and try to incorporate it into your day—even if only for a few moments.

What is your form of meditation?

_________

Dina Colman Mitchell, MBA, MA, NBC-HWC a widely published health coach, is the founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina credits four quadrant living for helping her go through her own cancer diagnosis and treatment last year with grace, strength, and health. Now cancer-free, Dina continues to devote her time to helping others around the world live healthier, happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: A Guide to Nourishing Your Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment, shows readers how to take responsibility for their health and make healthy living a way of life. Contact Dina at  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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It's 9pm on a Tuesday night and I'm at a veterinary hospital to meet a dog that I might adopt. This particular vet is open until midnight and they work a lot with rescue organizations. The rescue group that I contacted told me that I could meet the dog before she got spayed if I wanted to meet that evening. Nine o'clock at night seemed a little late to me, but the dog had just been listed on Petfinder.com and I found myself saying "yes". As I sat in the waiting room for the dog to come out, I saw multiple rescue groups come in and out with their animals that needed help. It was amazing to me that the vet's office was hopping so late at night.

As I sat and watched these rescue people do their work, I thought to myself, "I get it". I get why they are here working so hard to save these lives. I understand that it doesn't matter that it's 9pm; the lives need to be saved. I'm an animal person. I have always had a soft spot for cats and dogs. When I married my husband, the one condition was that I would always have a four legged companion in my life (to date, it's been cats). I have worked at and volunteered with a couple of animal rescue organizations in my life. As I waited to meet my future pup (yes, it was an instant love connection), I thought that some might look at these people and not really get it. Why would someone willingly be out so late to help a dog or cat they didn't even know? As I sat there, I had this feeling come over me that these are "my people". I ended up being there until 11pm, volunteering to photograph the just rescued shelter animals so they could be posted on Petfinder for faster adoption.

Who are "your people"—the people who understand your passion, beliefs, and/or values without your even having to say a word? These are the people that you can completely relate to. You can be authentic around them and not have to pretend to be someone else or downplay who you are. Is it your fellow cyclists? Knitting group? Breast cancer survivors? Church members? Mom's group? Foodies?

I started running five years ago because I wanted to run a marathon. Running has changed my life. Sure, it keeps me in shape and calms my stress, but it has provided me with a whole new social network. My husband took up running not too long after I started. We joke that if we had known how many friends we'd make from running, we would have taken it up a lot sooner. Since I started running, I have run 6 marathons. Sometimes I feel like my family doesn't really understand all that I get from running. My perception is that they think I'm obsessive about it and worry that I am harming my body. I often feel like when they are visiting me or I am visiting them, I have to sneak in my runs. I feel like I can't just be me about it. I have to downplay all that running is and does for me. But my running people get it. I don't have to explain why I love running. They just know.

Now that I'm a new dog owner, I'm seeing that I have a new "people". There is a whole subculture when you own a dog that I previously had no idea existed. I've had my dog for just a week now and I've already met five dog-owning neighbors I had never met before. I've also talked the ears off of my dog-owning friends, asking advice and sharing the craziness of the first week with my new pup. They get it.

My husband says it's the same for cyclists. He had his bike parked at a coffee shop and a fellow cyclist asked him how he liked his style of pedals. They then ended up having a conversation about rides, races, and injuries. I can imagine it's also true for foodies, as I've seen it with my friend Doug. He loves to talk food. Whereas I might say, "We had a delicious salmon dinner last night", Doug would give me a five minute explanation about how the meal was prepared (down to the ingredient list and steps). I always wonder if Doug thinks I'm actually retaining any of this. I'm guessing another foodie would be able to follow along and replicate the meal later on. 

The point is, spending time with your people—people who get who you are at some fundamental level—allows you to be authentic. You don't have to feel like you have to hide a part of yourself or downplay something you are passionate about. It's okay if you talk for 30 minutes about the woes of your running feet or stories of how your dog is the cutest and smartest dog ever. They get it. Spending time with your people is good for your health.

I'm curious to know what other subcultures are out there. Chime in and let us know who your people are and what you talk on and on about.

Do you spend enough time with your people? If not, how can you make more time to do so?


Kora—the cutest, smartest dog ever.

We don’t have control of many of the toxins outside of our home, but we do have control of the environment inside our home. Here are some ideas for making your home as environmentally healthy as possible.

• Leave shoes at the door. Having a shoeless sanctuary cuts down on dirt and pollutants tracked into your house. Think about all of the places your shoes travel in a day. When you wear them inside your house, you bring all of that into your home—including lawn pesticides, coal tar from asphalt surfaces, lead, and even E. coli. These substances have been linked to cancer as well as neurological and reproductive disorders. Keep the toxins out by taking off your shoes when you get home.

• Clean green. Many conventional cleaning products leave indoor air pollution because of the petrochemical VOCs (volatile organic compounds) and synthetic fragrances. These toxins build up in your house each time you use these products. As they evaporate, they can make their way into your body and can be dangerous to your health. These products can cause dizziness, watery eyes, skin rashes, and respiratory problems. In the long term or in very high exposure, many of these chemicals have been linked to nervous system damage, hormone disruption, and cancer. Try using all natural cleaning products instead. The combination of vinegar and water is great for cleaning glass and windows. Combining baking soda and water is great for cleaning counters and sinks. Steam cleaning your carpets is preferable to chemical cleaning. Try to avoid products that have fragrances, chlorine bleach, and ammonia.

• Avoid non-stick cookware. When heated, cookware coated with non-stick surfaces like Teflon emits fumes that can kill birds and potentially sicken people. At least four of the chemicals found in these products never break down in the environment and are widely found in our systems. Next time it’s time to buy pots and pans, opt for stainless steel or cast iron.

• Remodel with health in mind. For example, when it’s time to repaint inside your house, use latex over oil based paint because it releases fewer toxins and contains fewer petrochemicals. When it’s time to redo the flooring, opt for low VOC finishes. And, after the kitchen is redone, don’t line your kitchen shelves with vinyl shelf paper that can emit harmful phthalates. Instead, try enamel paint for easy cleaning.

• Set bugs free. Rather than pulling out the Raid for pest control, how about capturing the bug and putting it outside to go along its merry way. If you are afraid of bugs like I am, a technique that works well is to cover the bug with a small plastic dish against the floor or wall. Then slide a thin magazine under the dish and run out of the house screaming, carrying it to safety. You’ll feel good for saving a life.

• Get an air cleaner. I swear by my HEPA (High Efficiency Particulate Air) cleaner. It captures 99.97% of airborne particles as small as 0.3 microns from air passing through the filter—this means 1.1 billion particles in an area smaller than one square inch. I can absolutely tell the difference in my house when the air cleaner is running. When I start sneezing, I check my filter, and sure enough it’s ready to be changed.

• Garden organically. Feed your gardens naturally with lawn clippings. Find natural ways of removing pests, such as buying ladybugs for aphids. Pull weeds rather than spraying them with harsh chemicals (or embrace them for their natural beauty).

You have control of your indoor environment. How can you reduce the toxic load inside your home?