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Thursday, 04 February 2021 13:53

Random Thoughts from a Cancer Survivor

Today is World Cancer Day, an international day marked on February 4 to raise awareness of cancer and to encourage its prevention, detection, and treatment. I didn't share many photos or thoughts during my cancer journey (Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer), so today is a rare day for me to share these photos from Nov 2019 when I had just completed all of my chemotherapy treatments. You can see my attempts to paint on my eyebrows, try out fake eyelashes (that lasted a day and then I gave up, but I did get a good laugh trying), or just go bare. By the miracle of cold capping, I was able to save my head hair, but lost all other body hair.
 
Today I was inspired to share some random thoughts of my cancer experience to hopefully help friends and family of cancer patients as well as to help cancer patients. Please feel free to reply to this post if you have any ideas to add or forward to a friend if you think it might help. The one thing I did learn in going through cancer diagnosis and treatment is that most of us have been impacted by this disease in one way or another. There are so many resources out there. Whether you are a caregiver or a patient, you are not alone.
 
For Friends & Family of Cancer Patients
 
1. It was always so helpful when friends and family would offer a specific thing they could do for me rather than ask for me to reach out with anything I needed. Most of us are not great about asking for help, but it's much easier if the person offers something specific. I had friends offer to organize a meal train (loved it!), contribute food to the meal train, walk my dog on days I couldn't, take me to my acupuncture appointments when my husband wasn't able to, etc. It was much easier to say yes when something specific was offered. I now try to do the same for others.
 
2. Ask what is the biggest concern that your friend is facing and try to help them with it. One of my concerns in the beginning was what would I do during my six week surgery recovery because I don't like to be inactive. A friend knew this and sent me a care package with coloring books, funny reading books, a list of shows to watch - things to help pass the time. Another one of my concerns was losing my eyebrows. A friend offered to go eyebrow pencil shopping with me, which on my own would have been very difficult given the circumstances. She helped to make it a fun activity.
 
3. Please consider not sharing all of your cancer stories with your friend or family member about so-and-so who had cancer and died. I felt like a cancer magnet as soon as I mentioned to anyone that I had cancer. Everyone seemed to want to share their stories about who they knew who had cancer (and most of the stories I heard did not have happy endings). If you want to share about a friend or family member and you think it will be helpful or hopeful, by all means, share. I was already concerned about my own mortality and recurrence and did not want to hear stories of people dying from cancer. I have one friend who told me a story about someone she knew who died from chemo (as I'm going through chemo). It served me no purpose to hear this story. Words have power. I definitely have compassion and want to hear about others who have cancer and be there for them and their loved ones, it's just that it felt a little too raw and happened much too often while I was in the throes of it all. While I was going through it, I just needed to be surrounded by positivity and hope.
 
4. Find out when certain important appointments are (chemo treatments, surgery dates) and reach out on those days. It was always so sweet when friends and family remembered my chemo days and wished me well.
 
For Cancer Patients
 
1. If you have to go through chemotherapy, and you want to save your head hair, cold capping does work! As you can see in the photos above, I lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. My head would have been bald. Those caps work. They are not pleasant to go through (I had 10 hour days with minus 32 degrees F on my head for each chemo day), but worth it for me without a doubt.
 
2. One of the possible negative side effects from my type of chemo is neuropathy. I'm not sure if this helped, but during chemo treatments, I had cold packs on my hands and feet. I also did acupuncture once a week (which is supposed to help with this) and I had zero neuropathy.
 
3. Accept help. Your friends and family want to help. Let them.
 
4. Reach out for support. There is so much support out there, many online groups (for these Covid times) and so many wonderful free services. I took advantage of the Clearity Foundation's offer for 10 free counseling sessions. I also enjoyed free massages through The Sandra Wing Foundation. These are just two of the MANY resources and offerings for cancer patients. Since going through treatment, I have learned of Imerman Angels and Breasties. If you search the internet for what you are looking for, many resources will pop up.
 
5. Realize that just because you have cancer, does not mean you have to see yourself as unhealthy. I loved it when my friend Janet said I was the healthiest cancer patient she had ever seen. As many of you know, prior to cancer I had written a book called Four Quadrant Living that talks about the four quadrants of health - Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment. Everything that I had written about was definitely put to the test during my cancer diagnosis and treatment. I can without a doubt say that living a Four Quadrant Life helped me get through treatment with relative "ease". I focused on how I was healthy, rather than focusing on the cancer. I managed my stress (Mind) by journaling, listening to guided meditations, talking to my husband. I was healthy in my Body by walking, eating well, getting a good night's sleep. I didn't let the cancer overtake my Relationships by letting it be all I talked about. Having cancer let me connect with my friends and family on a deeper level so it really strengthened my relationships. I spent a lot of time sitting and walking in nature (Environment) which definitely helped my recovery. There are always silver linings and things to be grateful for. By focusing on the positive, I was able to keep my spirits up. It doesn't mean it was always unicorns and rainbows, but I was able to stay positive most of the time. On the days you feel down, that's okay. You are entitled. Cancer sucks.
 
6. Be your own advocate with doctors. Doctors do not have a crystal ball. There are so many factors involved in getting cancer and being treated for it. I sought out doctors who were "my people", the ones that I felt understood me and who were hopeful and positive. Ask as many questions as you need to. Get second opinions. You are your own best advocate for your health. Trust your gut and do not settle for a doctor who is not giving you the time of day or who is doom and gloom (and believe me, I encountered a few of those and quickly changed to another doctor).
 
I'm sure there are many other thoughts I have about cancer, but I just thought I would jot down a few today in honor of World Cancer Day. Hope it's helpful.
 

________

Dina Colman Mitchell, MBA, MA, NBC-HWC a widely published health coach, is the founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina credits four quadrant living for helping her go through her own cancer diagnosis and treatment last year with grace, strength, and health. Now cancer-free, Dina continues to devote her time to helping others around the world live healthier, happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: A Guide to Nourishing Your Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment, shows readers how to take responsibility for their health and make healthy living a way of life. Contact Dina at  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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Published in Mind Blog
Wednesday, 30 December 2020 10:40

The 2-0-2-1 Plan

The beginning of a new year is a great time to reflect on the year behind and look forward to the year ahead. A great way to do this is with The 2-0-2-1 Plan.

Eight years ago, I created The 2-0-1-3 Plan and it resonated with so many of you. I have people asking every year if I will be sending out the newest year’s plan. We’ve missed a few years, but it seems like the perfect time to be reflecting back and looking forward. Be sure to comment below with your plan.

The 2-0-2-1 Plan is about starting off the New Year with intention, motivation, and accountability for health and happiness. It's okay if some of your items from last year are still on the list this year.

Forward this on to your friends and family and let's see how many people we can get on board to join in. Here's how it works.

2  Come up with TWO actionable and doable healthy living ideas. Be specific. Make them very customized for you. Think about your weakness areas. How do you do in the areas of stress management, having fun, sleeping well, eating healthy, exercising, having nurturing relationships, and living in a nontoxic environment (this can be related to your emotional or physical environment)? Are you pretty good about working out, but don't take any time for stress management? If so, don't put exercise on your list, but rather, put something that will reduce your stress. Commit to work on the areas that receive less of your focus. You will see in the examples below that the ideas are both manageable and quantifiable. Try to be as specific as you can, and don't over-commit. You can always over-deliver.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Meditate for five minutes three days a week first thing in the morning to start the day grounded.
  • Spend less time with those people in your life who make you feel worse about yourself (you can be specific with names, if you want).
  • Do not drink alcohol during the week, only on Friday and Saturday nights.
  • Get 7,500 to 10,000 steps at least four days a week (wear a device to track it).
  • Go to bed by 11pm every night so that you get at least 7 hours of sleep.
  • Make one fun plan a week that makes you happy.

Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list to do for years that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.

This one is really important! So many of you reported in that you did your "0" from last year. Way to go! In 2013, my "0" was to join Toastmasters which I have wanted to do for TWENTY YEARS! I finally did it that year and it has been one of the best things I've done. Setting the intention of doing it at the beginning of the year and stating it publicly helped to finally make it happen! Trust yourself. You know your "0". Let's make it happen this year.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
  • Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day. (Sometimes this may not be possible due to financial constraints, but oftentimes even if we believe this to be the case, we do have choices that we have not allowed ourselves to believe in. Now's the time to believe in them and explore them.)
  • Hire a health coach and lose the weight for good.
  • Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore. For some ideas, read Movement by Gypsy.
  • Join a support group (e.g. AA, Al-Anon, loss, cancer). If you need help, there are groups out there for you. Sharing your pain with others does help.
  • Write your memoir.
  • Volunteer.
  • Take classes.

2  Take at least TWO minutes every day to ground yourself in the day. Whether you want to take the time in the morning, afternoon, or evening, be sure to take them. Ground yourself in the day. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths allowing your mind to free itself from the mental chatter. Set an intention for the day (such as being mindful, grateful, open, strong, playful). Do a ritual if you choose (light a candle, share with your spouse one highlight from the day, write in your journal).

1  Choose ONE word for the year. Come up with one word that you want to represent you in 2021. Give it some thought because you want it to really encompass what you want for the year. When you have decided on your word, write it out in big letters and put it somewhere you will see it every day. Put it on your bathroom mirror, by your computer, on your vision board, at work, in your wallet. Some of my past year words include "confidence", "openness", and "surrender".

Here are a few ideas: faith, love, forgiveness, dream, health, peace, strength, hope, play, truth, trust, imagine, and share.

2-0-2-1  Take some time this week and think about your 2-0-2-1 plan. Be sure to comment below and let us know. It is helpful to share it with others to make it more real and to help hold you accountable. I will share my 2-0-2-1 plan in the comments below. If you want to share some of your plan, but not all of it, that's perfectly fine. Share what you feel comfortable with and keep private what you want.

I look forward to hearing from you. Let's make 2021 a year filled with health, happiness, and ... (insert your word here!).

And, of course, if you need help with making any part of your 2-0-2-1 plan happen, FQL can help you!


Be sure to share your 2-0-2-1 Plan in the comments section below!

________

Dina Colman Mitchell, MBA, MA, NBC-HWC a widely published health coach, is the founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina credits four quadrant living for helping her go through her own cancer diagnosis and treatment last year with grace, strength, and health. Now cancer-free, Dina continues to devote her time to helping others around the world live healthier, happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: A Guide to Nourishing Your Mind, Body, Relationships, and Environment, shows readers how to take responsibility for their health and make healthy living a way of life. Contact Dina at  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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Published in Mind Blog
Wednesday, 30 December 2015 09:42

The 2-0-1-6 Plan

The beginning of a new year is a great time to reflect on the year behind and look forward to the year ahead. A great way to do this is with The 2-0-1-6 Plan. Three years ago, I created The 2-0-1-3 Plan and it resonated with so many of you, so we've done it every year since. Be sure to comment below with your plan.

The 2-0-1-6 Plan is about starting off the New Year with intention, motivation, and accountability for health and happiness. It's okay if some of your items from last year are still on the list this year.

Forward this on to your friends and family and let's see how many people we can get on board to join in. Here's how it works.

2  Come up with TWO actionable and doable healthy living ideas. Be specific. Make them very customized for you. Think about your weakness areas. How do you do in the areas of stress management, having fun, sleeping well, eating healthy, exercising, having nurturing relationships, and living in a nontoxic environment (this can be related to your emotional or physical environment)? Are you pretty good about working out, but don't take any time for stress management? If so, don't put exercise on your list, but rather, put something that will reduce your stress. Commit to work on the areas that receive less of your focus. You will see in the examples below that the ideas are both manageable and quantifiable. Try to be as specific as you can, and don't over-commit. You can always over-deliver.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Meditate for five minutes three days a week first thing in the morning to start the day grounded.
  • Spend less time with those people in your life who make you feel worse about yourself (you can be specific with names, if you want).
  • Do not drink alcohol during the week, only on Friday and Saturday nights.
  • Get 7,500 to 10,000 steps at least four days a week (wear a pedometer to track it).
  • Go to bed by 11pm every night so that you get at least 7 hours of sleep.
  • Make one fun plan a week that makes you happy.

Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list to do for years that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.

This one is really important! So many of you reported in that you did your "0" from last year. Way to go! In 2013, my "0" was to join Toastmasters which I have wanted to do for TWENTY YEARS! I finally did it that year and it has been one of the best things I've done. Setting the intention of doing it at the beginning of the year and stating it publicly helped to finally make it happen! Trust yourself. You know your "0". Let's make it happen this year.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
  • Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day. (Sometimes this may not be possible due to financial constraints, but oftentimes even if we believe this to be the case, we do have choices that we have not allowed ourselves to believe in. Now's the time to believe in them and explore them.)
  • Go on the trip you've been talking about taking for years. If your spouse doesn't want to join you, go with a friend, by yourself, or an organized group.
  • Hire a health coach and lose the weight for good.
  • Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore. For some ideas, read Movement by Gypsy.
  • Join a support group (e.g. AA, Al-Anon, loss, cancer). If you need help, there are groups out there for you. Sharing your pain with others does help.
  • Write your memoir.
  • Volunteer.
  • Take classes.

1  Choose ONE word for the year. Come up with one word that you want to represent you in 2016. Give it some thought because you want it to really encompass what you want for the year. When you have decided on your word, write it out in big letters and put it somewhere you will see it everyday. Put it on your bathroom mirror, by your computer, on your vision board, at work, in your wallet. In 2013, my word was "confidence", in 2014 it was "openness", and in 2015 it was "surrender". Below, I say what my new word is.

Here are a few ideas: faith, love, forgiveness, dream, health, peace, strength, hope, play, truth, trust, imagine, and share.

6  Take SIX minutes every day to ground yourself in the day. Whether you want to take the six minutes in the morning, afternoon, or evening, be sure to take them. Ground yourself in the day. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths allowing your mind to free itself from the mental chatter. Set an intention for the day (such as being mindful, grateful, open, strong, playful). Do a ritual if you choose (light a candle, share with your spouse one highlight from the day, write in your journal). I talk more about this in chapter 9, "Losing My Mind(fulness)," of my book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life.

2-0-1-6  Take some time this week and think about your 2-0-1-6 plan. Be sure to comment below and let us know. It is helpful to share it with others to make it more real and to help hold you accountable. I've shared my 2-0-1-6 plan in the comments below. If you want to share some of your plan, but not all of it, that's perfectly fine. Share what you feel comfortable with and keep private what you want.

I look forward to hearing from you. Let's make 2016 a year filled with health, happiness, and ... (insert your word here!).

And, of course, if you need help with making any part of your 2-0-1-6 plan happen, 4QL can help you!


Be sure to share your 2-0-1-6 Plan in the comments section below!

________

Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an award-winning author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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Published in Body Blog
Friday, 02 January 2015 11:00

The 2-0-1-5 Plan

The beginning of a new year is a great time to reflect on the year behind and look forward to the year ahead. A great way to do this is with The 2-0-1-5 Plan. Two years ago, I created The 2-0-1-3 Plan and it resonated with so many of you! We had the 2-0-1-4 Plan last year and now it's time for your new plan. Be sure to comment below with your plan.

It has been on my mind the past couple of weeks to send out this blog and today I received an email from a client I haven't seen in over a year proactively telling me about her 2-0-1-5 Plan. The 2-0-1-4 Plan had been so motivating for her, so without prompting she had already done her 2-0-1-5 Plan! I have to admit, these plans have been life changing for me too.  

The 2-0-1-5 Plan is about starting off the New Year with intention, motivation, and accountability for health and happiness. It's okay if some of your items from last year are still on the list this year.

Forward this on to your friends and family and let's see how many people we can get on board to join in. Here's how it works.

2  Come up with TWO actionable and doable healthy living ideas. Be specific. Make them very customized for you. Think about your weakness areas. How do you do in the areas of stress management, having fun, sleeping well, eating healthy, exercising, having nurturing relationships, and living in a nontoxic environment (this can be related to your emotional or physical environment)? Are you pretty good about working out, but don't take any time for stress management? If so, don't put exercise on your list, but rather, put something that will reduce your stress. Commit to work on the areas that receive less of your focus. You will see in the examples below that the ideas are both manageable and quantifiable. Try to be as specific as you can, and don't over-commit. You can always over-deliver.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Meditate for five minutes three days a week first thing in the morning to start the day grounded.
  • Spend less time with those people in your life who make you feel worse about yourself (you can be specific with names, if you want).
  • Do not drink alcohol during the week, only on Friday and Saturday nights.
  • Get 7,500 to 10,000 steps at least four days a week (wear a pedometer to track it).
  • Go to bed by 11pm every night so that you get at least 7 hours of sleep.
  • Make one fun plan a week that makes you happy.

Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list to do for years that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.

This one is really important! So many of you reported in that you did your "0" from last year. Way to go! In 2013, my "0" was to join Toastmasters which I have wanted to do for TWENTY YEARS! I finally did it that year and it has been one of the best things I've done. Setting the intention of doing it at the beginning of the year and stating it publicly helped to finally make it happen! Trust yourself. You know your "0". Let's make it happen this year.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
  • Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day. (Sometimes this may not be possible due to financial constraints, but oftentimes even if we believe this to be the case, we do have choices that we have not allowed ourselves to believe in. Now's the time to believe in them and explore them.)
  • Go on the trip you've been talking about taking for years. If your spouse doesn't want to join you, go with a friend, by yourself, or an organized group.
  • Hire a health coach and lose the weight for good.
  • Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore. For some ideas, read Movement by Gypsy.
  • Join a support group (e.g. AA, Al-Anon, loss, cancer). If you need help, there are groups out there for you. Sharing your pain with others does help.
  • Write your memoir.
  • Volunteer.
  • Take classes.

1  Choose ONE word for the year. Come up with one word that you want to represent you in 2015. Give it some thought because you want it to really encompass what you want for the year. When you have decided on your word, write it out in big letters and put it somewhere you will see it everyday. Put it on your bathroom mirror, by your computer, on your vision board, at work, in your wallet. In 2013, my word was "confidence" and last year it was "openness". Below, I say what my new word is.

Here are a few ideas: faith, love, forgiveness, dream, health, peace, strength, hope, play, truth, trust, imagine, and share.

5  Take FIVE minutes every day to ground yourself in the day. Whether you want to take the five minutes in the morning, afternoon, or evening, be sure to take them. Ground yourself in the day. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths allowing your mind to free itself from the mental chatter. Set an intention for the day (such as being mindful, grateful, open, strong, playful). Do a ritual if you choose (light a candle, share with your spouse one highlight from the day, write in your journal). I talk more about this in chapter 9, "Losing My Mind(fulness)," of my book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life.

2-0-1-5  Take some time this week and think about your 2-0-1-5 plan. Be sure to comment below and let us know. It is helpful to share it with others to make it more real and to help hold you accountable. I've shared my 2-0-1-5 plan in the comments below. If you want to share some of your plan, but not all of it, that's perfectly fine. Share what you feel comfortable with and keep private what you want.

I look forward to hearing from you. Let's make 2015 a year filled with health, happiness, and ... (insert your word here!).

And, of course, if you need help with making any part of your 2-0-1-5 plan happen, 4QL can help you!


Be sure to share your 2-0-1-5 Plan in the comments section below!

________

Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an award-winning author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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Published in Relationships Blog
Sunday, 29 December 2013 16:52

The 2-0-1-4 Plan

The end of year is a great time to reflect on the year behind and look forward to the year ahead. A great way to do this is with The 2-0-1-4 Plan. Last year, I created The 2-0-1-3 Plan and it resonated with so many of you! It was fun to share our plans for the New Year, so it's time to do it again. Be sure to comment below with your plan. For those of you who did it last year, you can see your plans here at the bottom of the blog. 

The 2-0-1-4 Plan is about starting off the New Year with intention, motivation, and accountability for health and happiness. It's okay if some of your items from last year are still on the list this year. I didn't quite master one of my "2" items from last year as you can see in the comments below, so I'm putting it on my Plan again this year.

Forward this on to your friends and family and let's see how many people we can get on board to join in. Here's how it works.

2  Come up with TWO actionable and doable healthy living ideas. Be specific. Make them very customized for you. Think about your weakness areas. How do you do in the areas of stress management, having fun, sleeping well, eating healthy, exercising, having nurturing relationships, and living in a nontoxic environment (this can be related to your emotional or physical environment)? Are you pretty good about working out, but don't take any time for stress management? If so, don't put exercise on your list, but rather, put something that will reduce your stress. Commit to work on the areas that receive less of your focus. You will see in the examples below that the ideas are both manageable and quantifiable. Try to be as specific as you can, and don't over-commit. You can always over-deliver.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Meditate for five minutes three days a week first thing in the morning to start the day grounded.
  • Spend less time with those people in your life who make you feel worse about yourself (you can be specific with names, if you want).
  • Do not drink alcohol during the week, only on Friday and Saturday nights.
  • Get 7,500 to 10,000 steps at least four days a week (wear a pedometer to track it).
  • Go to bed by 11pm every night so that you get at least 7 hours of sleep.
  • Make one fun plan a week that makes you happy.

Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list to do for years that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.

This one is really important! So many of you reported in that you did your "0" from last year. Way to go! Mine was to join Toastmasters which I have wanted to do for TWENTY YEARS! I finally did it this past August and it has been one of the best things I've done. Setting the intention of doing it at the beginning of the year and stating it publicly helped to finally make it happen! Trust yourself. You know your "0". Let's make it happen this year.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
  • Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day. (Sometimes this may not be possible due to financial constraints, but oftentimes even if we believe this to be the case, we do have choices that we have not allowed ourselves to believe in. Now's the time to believe in them and explore them.)
  • Go on the trip you've been talking about taking for years. If your spouse doesn't want to join you, go with a friend, by yourself, or an organized group.
  • Hire a health coach and lose the weight for good.
  • Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore. For some ideas, read Movement by Gypsy.
  • Join a support group (e.g. AA, Al-Anon, loss, cancer). If you need help, there are groups out there for you. Sharing your pain with others does help.
  • Write your memoir.
  • Volunteer.
  • Take classes.

1  Choose ONE word for the year. Come up with one word that you want to represent you in 2014. Give it some thought because you want it to really encompass what you want for the year. When you have decided on your word, write it out in big letters and put it somewhere you will see it everyday. Put it on your bathroom mirror, by your computer, on your vision board, at work, in your wallet. Last year my word was "confidence". I still have my word staring at me on my vision board right next to my computer that I have seen for the past 365 days. (It was also pretty cool that my friend, Tracy, gave me a necklace for my birthday with my word on it, so I had it as an empowering reminder that I wore daily!). Now I've replaced last year's word with this year's word, "Openness".

Here are a few ideas: faith, love, forgiveness, dream, health, peace, strength, hope, play, truth, trust, imagine, and share.

4  Take FOUR minutes every day to ground yourself in the day. This one is a little different from last year. Last year it was to write 3 things you are grateful for every day. This year, I'm changing it because I've heard from so many of my clients about the importance of starting or ending your day with purpose. One of my clients said they feel that every day runs into the next, so we talked about creating a closing day ritual. Another one of my client starts every morning lighting a candle and setting an intention for the day. Whether you want to take the four minutes in the morning, afternoon, or evening, be sure to take them. Ground yourself in the day. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths allowing your mind to free itself from the mental chatter. Set an intention for the day (such as being mindful, grateful, open, strong, playful). Do a ritual if you choose (light a candle, share with your spouse one highlight from the day, write in your journal). I talk more about this in chapter 9, "Losing My Mind(fulness)," of my new book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life.

2-0-1-4  Take some time this week and think about your 2-0-1-4 plan. Be sure to comment below and let us know. It is helpful to share it with others to make it more real and to help hold you accountable. I've shared my 2-0-1-4 plan in the comments below. If you want to share some of your plan, but not all of it, that's perfectly fine. This year, I chose not to share my "0". Share what you feel comfortable with and keep private what you want.

I look forward to hearing from you. Let's make 2014 a year filled with health, happiness, and ... (insert your word here!).

And, of course, if you need help with making any part of your 2-0-1-4 plan happen, 4QL can help you!

_________

Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her Amazon Top 100 book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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My "1" word for 2014!

Published in Relationships Blog
Tuesday, 06 August 2013 09:38

Have You Done Your Zero?

As you may remember, back in January, I wrote about the 2-0-1-3 Plan to help set goals for the year. The "0" was as follows:

0  Commit to doing the ZERO "do it now" item. What is the one thing that has been on your list for years to do that you know would benefit you in some way—career, health, relationships, personal—but you just have never done it? Commit to it to do it this year.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get out of a toxic relationship that has been bringing you down.
  • Make a change in your job if you feel miserable every day.
  • Go on the trip you've been talking about taking for years.
  • Find a workout regime you like so that you look forward to exercise rather than see it as a chore.
  • Write your memoir.
  • Volunteer.
  • Take classes.


My Zero that I posted on the first of January was: "Join toastmasters. I've been thinking about doing it for over 20 years. It's time."

Well, today was the day I took my first step to doing my "Zero". I went to my first Toastmasters meeting! I remember thinking about doing this as far back as 1993 but I was shy and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Signing on to talk in front of people every week just didn't sound like my idea of fun. Twenty years later, and it's finally time. And dare I say, it was kind of fun!

I searched the internet to find a Toastmasters near me. I didn't know anyone there and had no idea what to expect. As soon as I entered the room, everyone was very welcoming. I loved the format of the meeting in that there are various roles so everyone can be involved. Each of the roles helps you practice different skills. For example, there is one person who evaluates the speeches, one person who manages the flow of the meeting, one person who gives a speech, and so on.

At the beginning of the meeting, I was asked to stand up and introduce myself. Later in the meeting, there was a part called Table Topics where one person decides on the theme and calls on people in the room to come up to answer a question spontaneously for one to two minutes. This is difficult because you have to think on the fly. I had no intention of participating (as a newcomer guest, you can say "no"), but Andy called on me and the group encouraged me, and so I did. I think I did fine for my first time and I didn't feel nervous, but thinking on my feet is not my strength, so Table Topics will definitely be a good exercise for me.

The one role which will be the biggest challenge for me is that they have a joke teller each meeting. I don't think I've ever actually told a joke in my life! The thought of me telling a joke makes me laugh.

Throughout the meeting, the members kept passing notes back and forth to each other and I had no idea why...until I got a note passed that had my name on it. It was from Andy and said, "Dina, Great job! Thank you for taking a chance, overcome any fear to step out of your comfort zone. No longer does the 'Zero' exist in 2013." The notes passed were words of encouragement to each other. Love it!

I wanted to check back in with all of you and I want to hear if you have done your "Zero" yet? If not, what's holding you back? How can we help you take that first step so that your Zero no longer exists in 2013?

Some of the "Zeros" from 4QL readers that were shared in January were:

  • Run an Ultra Marathon.
  • Get organized one room at a time.
  • Live the Dream...my "bucket list"
  • One of two home improvement projects (deck or gutters)
  • Pick up as I go rather than plopping stuff down and then having a mess to pick up!
  • Swim. (No really - I mean it this time!)
  • Will

Taking the first step to do it is the hardest part. It took me 20 years to get to a meeting, but I plan to join and make it a regular Tuesday morning activity.

Please chime in below and let us know about your Zero. If the Zero you set in January is no longer relevant, what's your new Zero? If you didn't set a 2-0-1-3 Plan in January, it's not to late to do it now.

 

Be sure to get your free eBook to find out how you are doing in each of the four quadrants, plus get practical tips including 5 Steps to Mindfulness, 12 Tips for Fad-Free Eating, 6 Ways to Closer Connections, and 9 Ideas to Detox Your Home. Sign up in the box at the upper right of this page.

 ________

Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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Dina Colman

Published in Relationships Blog
Tuesday, 30 October 2012 01:45

Who's Your Accountability Buddy?

Is there something in your life that you've been trying to do but just haven't been able to get it done? Like losing those few extra pounds but just can't? Exercising more but it's not happening? Starting your own business but not getting it off the ground? Doing that new hobby but not making the time? Maybe it's time for an accountability buddy!

Accountability partners can be near or far. They can be friends or acquaintances. They can be for work, exercise, diet, fun—anything you are trying to make happen in your life but are having trouble doing on your own. For work, I've got two accountability partners. Varsha is my Monday at 1:30pm accountability partner and Kenn is my Friday at 11:30am one. Varsha lives in London and I live in California, but distance is not a barrier for us. We talk via Skype. If there is a time when we can't make it, we email our goals for the week. We are both trying to grow our own businesses (and I'm trying to get my book published) so we are helping each other stay on track with weekly tasks to move forward. Being in business for myself is great, but motivation for progress has to come from within since I am the boss. I set my own deadlines, so if I miss them, I only have to answer to myself. Varsha is a friend from graduate school and is in the health field as well, Illuminated Health, so it's helpful to have her to bounce ideas off of since she understands my business.

Kenn, on the other hand, is someone I just recently met and is not in my same field. He creates websites, Coaching Sites That Work. I met Kenn through a LinkedIn group. After a few exchanges, Kenn said he liked my vibe and wanted to know if I was interested in talking regularly to help each other stay accountable. There are benefits to having an accountability buddy where there isn't the familiarity of friendship. With Kenn, I feel a little more push to meet my deadlines. Kenn is not in my same line of work, bringing a different perspective to the conversation. I am enjoying having my two work accountability buddies that each bring something unique to our collaboration.

Kenn has been good about helping me see the value in the quick win. For example, last Friday I set my goal as, "I'm going to send my book proposal to five publishers next week." Kenn nudged me to break it down even more by identifying that day one of the publishers I would be sending it to. He then asked if I could commit to sending out one proposal on Monday. This way I would get the quick win of having taken a first step at the beginning of the week to get the momentum going rather than starting the week with the big lofty goal of five for the week. I had already identified one by the time I was off the call with him and today I know I have to send one out. These little wins help us get past the stuck spots.

For exercise, I have a few ways I stay accountable. On Thursdays, I meet with a group of women to run. We call it "RePeets" because we meet at Peet's coffee shop so that after we are done running repeats, we can enjoy a drink together. This run happens regularly every Thursday at 9am, rain or shine. There are enough people on the list so that on any given day, anywhere from two to ten women will be there. We're accountable to each other. You can set up a Facebook group to keep in touch or an email distribution list. I've created a group on Facebook for weekly Saturday trail runs I coordinate. This list has grown organically to 98 members just through word of mouth. If I stop posting runs, I'll get asked by others on the list about where the weekend run is. I have no doubt that if I didn't set up this group, I would have run half as much on the trails as I did this summer. The accountability encouraged me to make it happen. It was something I wanted to do, but I needed that push.

For diet, I've had clients who find it helpful to email me their food journal daily. Having the accountability of knowing that someone will be seeing what they ate helps them to make better choices. I have another client who uses My Fitness Pal, an online diet and fitness community, to track her food and exercise. She has friends who also use this online tool and she can see what her friends have posted and vice versa.

I mention all of these examples to emphasize the point that there are many ways to set up accountability for all areas of your life. It's about stating it publicly and putting yourself on the hook. In my recent blog post, See It. Say It. Do It., I mentioned that when I was training for my first marathon seven years ago, I read The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer and it said to tell one new person every day that "I am a marathoner." It's about accountability and putting your goal out there. Every day I did tell someone new that I was training for a marathon and it made it more and more of a reality. It became a goal I was truly committed to.

Here are a few steps you can take to help get you started:

1. Identify the area(s) in your life that you want to move forward but have been unable to do so on your own.

2. Find an accountability partner. This can be a friend, an acquaintance, a group, or an online connection.

3. Set up regular check-in dates via phone, Skype, or email. This is a very important step to making this work.

4. Set weekly, manageable goals to help each other stay on track. (Remember to set up those quick wins too to get the momentum going).

I want to hear from you. What area(s) in your life do you need an accountability buddy and how are you going to make it happen?
_________

Dina Colman, MA, MBA is an author, healthy living coach, and founder of Four Quadrant Living. Dina has a private practice helping clients live healthier and happier lives. Her book, Four Quadrant Living: Making Healthy Living Your New Way of Life, guides readers to make healthy living a part of their daily lives, leading to greater health, vitality, and happiness. Contact Dina at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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